Two States

A flurry of emotions engulf me as I sit back and start typing for the first post of my re-entry into the blogosphere. 2 years. Has it been so long? When and why has it all stopped? Was I really unable to make time for the one thing which I have always enjoyed? Seems so.

Almost two years of work experience behind me, I could not have been a more different person. Physically and psychologically. Those of you who havent seen me in a while will probably find it hard to see me now and acknowledge that I really am the same person. The Manoj you have known. Now, when did it all start?

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It was the 2nd year in college. Counter Strike, a game which occupied a considerable portion of our engineering life, has just started gaining popularity. Good CS players were gods, like the south indian film stars, for the rest of us. We were having a match, one with all the major players and I was really excited to have been included in the final 15(or was it 16?). We were losing badly.

Me: KoD, do something. We are losing.

KoD: Patience is a virtue, my friend.

Me: LOL.

Yes, I did laugh out loud at his reply. So typical of him to say anything that comes to his mind. After all, he did pride himself on being able to make up bull shit real fast, dint he? 'The Blabberer'. Somehow, that sentence was safely embedded in my mind. I did not realize the importance of that statement. Not yet. Not in the old state.

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August 1st, 2008. Finally, it was time. This was the day I had been promising myself that I would start working out. There was a gym at work, it was well equipped and it was free. 'You have no excuse to not work out', I told myself. 35 minutes. Thats all! I was gasping for my breath. I cursed myself for over-estimating my stamina and pushing myself so hard on day1. Patience, I said to myself.

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September 1st, 2008. The past one month had been the longest one in my life. I did not check my weight since the day I started gymming. I was super excited. A little tensed too. Wearily, I stepped on the weighing-machine. 104.4. Not bad. 3.5 kgs. Way to go, Manoj! My sense of euphoria did not last long. I realized that I still have atleast 30 kgs to loose. A really long way. I was not sure if I could do it. If only I had a way of seeing the future! Slap. Back to this world. Maybe I can get a lipo. Its not very expensive. 1 more month. If I maintain the rate of weight loss, I will continue. If not, I will get a lipo done.

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The new year. It has been more than a month since I stopped going to the gym. My conscience was killing me. 'I was really busy with work', I protested in denial. It was partially true. We just finished all our trainings and have been given an assignment, to assess our progress. We had to develop an internal tool on a relatively new technology and the deadlines were threatening. I quit the gym and started working overtime. I assured myself that it was only temporary. Finally, the project was over and I was heading to the gym. I havent checked my weight after I stopped gymming at 101. I could not bring myself to do it as I was scared that I might have put on. I stepped on the weighing machine ready for the unpleasant truth. I will probably have to start all over again. Sigh!

98.3. What? After checking 10 times and making all the people in the gym check theirs to confirm that the machine is not broken, I still could not believe it. Double digit weight! YESSS!

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Puff..Pant!..It was a saturday and I was just back from a morning jog. There was a weighing machine in our apartment complex and I dragged my feet towards it to check my weight. 83. I smiled and rushed up to my flat, switched on my laptop, signed in to gtalk and updated my status message: 'Celebrating 25 kgs of weight loss'.

I knew I had come a long way. It has been more than 8 months since I had first started working out. Month after month, as my weight loss continued at a wonderful rate, the exhilaration was intoxicating. I was addicted to working out. My roomies started worrying that I had turned into a fitness freak. They would not tell me but they dreaded having dinner with me because I had a 1000 conditions to be satisfied before I certify something to be edible. I would embarrass them by irritating the waiters with my specifications on how to prepare my order. I would not let them have pizza. I would nag them to submission on observing 'fruit-day's. They did bear me. Bless them!

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75. Finally. The figure I never imagined I would touch. It was blissful. I treated myself to biryani and ice cream.

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71. Oh no! Not again. I could not stop losing weight. I did start eating properly(atleast, thats what I thought) and I was concentrating on weight-training. But somehow, my body would not come out of the weight-loss mode. Everyone started complaining about how I started looking skinny and sick. My mom was very worried. Hell, I was worried too. I was just clueless!

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Today. A healthy 72.5 and a decent amount of muscle on me. I am obsessed with protein and I dream about dumbbells. Yes, still a fitness freak. I give tips and instructions on how to loose weight to all the people at work. Did I ever imagine the present 'me'? Hell, NO! Did I enjoy every moment of the transformation? YES! As 'The Blabberer' said, patience is definitely a virtue!

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the second innings of a slimmer, older and balder Manoj who has also learnt to play the drums(Hell, yeah! More on that soon..) along the way. The new state.