So it is here.

Well, almost here.

No hour-long breakfasts.
No post-lunch shopping and anjeer shakes at Big B.
No krishna dhabha on fridays and no more gossips on you-know-who.
No dowry-comparisons.
No foosball and no double horlicks or maggi at 5.

No sunday nights at the juice junction. No KV.
No more "buy 3 - get 5"s and  "flat 60% off"s and group-shoppings. No Marathahalli.
No Pilani vs Goa cricket matches and no more weekend TT.
No 405 vs 407 bullshit and no more BABIG crap.
No AOM or WOW.
No night treks and no more long walks.
No purple hazes and no more idling at the corner house.

No more Bangalore.

I convinced myself that this was necessary. For my career, I told myself. The right step to get into a good b-school, huh? It better be.

Because "change" is here. And it is being a real b****.

Miss me Bangalore. For I will miss you. More than you could imagine. For all that you have given me.

Wake me up when September ends..

People keep congratulating you. You are provided with a big list of "things to buy" by your friends (which keeps getting longer and longer). Relatives call you up to check if you have packed everything. Your parents try and dig up long forgotten contacts and make sure you carry their phone numbers and addresses with you. Some shopping and a lot of packing.

This, precisely, is what happens when you are about to travel to the US for the first time - especially on a short trip. So I am about to travel abroad for the first time - 3 weeks in Minneapolis, Minnesota on a B1 visa. In about 84 hours from now, my flight shall take off from the Bangalore International Airport and in about 22 hours from then, I shall be setting my foot on the American soil (or concrete, may be). I might look very naive in making this sound like a big deal but I think it is a big deal if you want it to be and I want it to be.

It has always been my dream to go to the US. To go to the No. 1 country in the world. To go to the country that made movies like 'The Titanic', 'Pearl Harbor', 'The Lord of the Rings', 'Avatar' and 'Inception' (yes, I do realize that I am not actually going to Hollywood - just dramatizing). To the country that, allegedly, started the "recession". To the country that gives us most of our IT jobs. To the country that created GRE and GMAT and all that. To the country everyone around you seem to be traveling to or planning to travel to. And finally, I got a chance.

So let me live this dream I have been "incepted" (I still can't get over "Inception") with. Wake me up on the 1st of October when I would be flying back. Wake me up when September ends :)

Zzzzzz....

A walk to remember

A hot Sunday afternoon back in Vijayawada.  Everyone at home was taking a siesta. Power cut. Not having anything to do, I decide to take a walk. It had been some time since I had gone around the house. In fact, I did not remember the last time I was in our backyard. Its high time, I decide and step out.

Fond memories started pouring back (minus the spiraling and music, though). The portico. The place where we used to hold a "skating" competition. Pour a lot of water on the smooth slab, take a run up to it and slide on your knees. The one to slide the maximum distance wins. Bruised knees, wet clothes and angry elders are just collateral. Cheering cousins and a chest swollen with pride upon winning are all that mattered. That was "skating", during which I broke a part of one of my teeth (yes, still visible).

A pic of my home I had taken sometime back.

The backyard. The legendary mango tree was no longer there. Being the fat kid I was, I could never climb up the mango tree to hide during hide-and-seek. I was terrified of that tree as it was always dark there and all my friends used to go hide on top of it. When it was my turn to seek, I would wait for them to get frustrated and come down the tree and then catch them ;)

The park opposite to my house. I had probably spent half of my childhood in Vijayawada (before I was sent to Vizag) in that park. The park to us, was a place to make money. Marbles, cricket, 7 stones, everything was played for a small bet. On my day, I would take 5 rupees in the morning and come back with 50 rupees. In the evening, I would throw a grand party of bhajjis and pakoras to the friends. It was from here, we broke 2 windows in my own home, often entering into a quarrel with my own granma (who used to drive my friends away when I had a fight with them, even when I was the culprit. Miss you granma. RIP.). Incidentally, the park is now named after her.

The park! No longer a cricket ground. It has been turned into a big garden with slides and swings now :(

Finally, the circuit! You see, I was always fat as a kid. My parents did everything to make me lose weight (quite unsuccessfully, though). During one such phase, I was supposed to do a 20-round brisk-walk on the road that went around our neighborhood. My grandpa would stand in the portico and count the rounds (to make sure that I did not cheat). When I complained that it was boring to do it alone, I was told to take one of my friends with me (the poor chap. He never forgave me for that). Bah! They though they had cornered me. They were not aware of a shortcut which effectively cut the total distance to less than half. Me and my poor friend would pretend to walk seriously while passing my house and when we were out of sight, take the shortcut, wait at the end of it for sometime (to avoid suspicion due to the ridiculously small "lap time"), chat and gloat over our brilliance and finally finish the lap when we thought enough time had passed to make my grandpa think that we had finished the lap. Muhahahahah (sly psychotic laugh)!!

Sigh! Call it cliched but I miss my childhood. I am glad I took the walk. To remember. Literally!

\m/usic

Without it, the world would be a very sad place. Without it, there would be one less medium to express. Without it, there would be one less art. Without it, 60 years would probably be a really long time to live.

Music to me, is priceless. I am sure it is so, to all of us, in one way or another. It is probably one thing where everyone's taste is quite unique and yet, totally justified. I am yet to find a person who would say, "Nah! I don't listen to music". Someone with a really weird taste (again, weird according to ME), with whom I do not have a single song in common: yes, but someone who does not listen to any music: NO! There is always something to fill in the "Music" section of your Facebook profile. And what's more, everyone of us is passionately possessive about the music we like. We vouch for it, we evangelize it, we sing it aloud and we sing it to ourselves. And somewhere, at some corner in our hearts, we want, wish and hope we could make music like that. At least, I know I do.

My life was never the same after "Rock On!". The music just struck a chord in me and I was possessed by this irresistible urge to learn music. Any instrument. The guitar, I decided. After coming home, I realized that I was not alone when Karteek and Giri confessed that they were going for it too. Well, if we are going to do it, why not put some sense into it and form a band? After much discussion, I settled for drums while Karteek was up for guitar. Giri did not want the keyboards and he was going to learn to play the drums too. Well, it was some start at least. So we googled for the best music school in Bangalore and found some good reviews for this place called "The Unwind Center". We called them up and registered. We would start the classes in two weeks.

After 6 months, I graduated. Karteek picked up the guitar wonderfully while Giri left it midway in pursuit of other priorities. I myself was not bad and every evening, our flat would resonate with the sound from my drum kit. I would carry my drumsticks everywhere. I was a part of a band formed at work and I got a couple of opportunities to perform on stage. Karteek bought an electric guitar and an amp to go with it. We were all set to jam regularly. All this, while I was constantly trying to lose weight. Slowly, it became too much of an effort to practice regularly. And now, after almost a year since I had given my first performance, my drum kit now, is a mere structure to hang wet clothes while Karteek's electric guitar caught dust in its stand (he is doing better than me, though. He still plays his acoustic).

One of the pics of my drum kit which I took long back

Five peice. DB. 18k! N its and entry level one!

My hands tap to the beat involuntarily whenever I listen to a song I could relate to. Guilt would swell within me. I still remember every piece, every crash and every roll for "Nothing Else Matters". First the gymming, then the work, and now my GMAT prep: all of them managed to play a villain in my romance with the drums. Maybe I just let them. Let them make me and my drum kit feel like awkward friends who meet after a very long time. And now, I am even contemplating unassembling it to make room for a study table.

Zildjian drumsticks. 600 bucks!

One day, we shall do a cover of "Nothing Else Matters". Me, Karteek and hopefully, 2 others for the vocals and the bass guitar. Even if it has to be before our friends and family alone, we will do it. Even if it has to be in the dramatic way of "Rock On!", we will do it. I know we will. Its probably going to be the loser in me vs the wannabe in me.

I am sure it will be an interesting battle.

Roti Burji

Mom: I made egg burji for your journey. How many rotis do you want me to pack with it?

Me: 2. Not more than that.
Mom: 2? Do you plan to starve to death? 2 won't be enough.

Me: Mom, please! 2 is good. Okay, max 3.

Mom: Fine!

-----

At about 9 PM, I start feeling very hungry and decide to have my dinner. I fish out my packet, eat all the 4 rotis and silently thank mom. 

Moms. They know us. Bless them!

Tee-thing troubles

I have always hated t-shirts. Especially the crew-neck types. Not because I don't like them. Its because I could not wear them. I used to get a  little self-conscious and feel very uncomfortable whenever I wore a tee. And then one day, I resigned. I decided that I would not wear them any more. That was very long ago.

Yesterday, it was the first time I wore a crew-neck tee which I bought for myself. I did wear some old ones to the gym many times but this was different. I wore it to work. It was a feeling I would probably not forget for quite some time. Nervous, excited, conscious(very). And happy. :)

Kushmanda!

Well, if the villain dies screaming that word, there has to be some significance to it. So I come back home after watching Varudu and google for it and guess what, it IS something. More on it here for those of you who are interested/jobless enough.

Okay. So I heard some really bad reviews about the movie. Horrible, to be more precise. Still, we go ahead and watch the movie because thats what we do in Vijayawada. We inquire about the movie, discuss the reviews but yes, we still go and watch the movie. Anyway, so we enter the theater expecting 2+ hours of torture. But I must admit, we were pleasantly surprised by the movie. At least, the first half. It definitely did not deserve the lavish abuse that was showered on it. Of course, it did not miss out on the typical and hopelessly romantic cliches that infest Tollywood and it definitely has a very awkward cast (except for the parents of hero and the heroine, who I thought were perfect). But as I said, it was definitely not horrible. Judge me for this if you dare to but I did like the movie. May be not in a tell-your-friends-to-go-watch-it-right-away way. But yes, I was definitely not disappointed. I think that Varudu is one of those movies which crumble under their own hype (considering that it was one of the most anticipated movies of the season).


This experience made me realize a powerful phenomenon which we all know exists, but fail to apply most of the times. Perception or prejudice changes everything. Yes. When I go out and watch a movie, the experience would be unique to me. There are a million things which affect my experience directly or indirectly. I might relate to the movie based on my personal experiences, tastes, interests, etc. People were shocked when I declared that I did not like Ye Maya Chesavo. They probably even thought I was a heartless psycho. My friends still tease me for considering Kotha Bangaru Lokam an entertainer. Most of us still dont get why Banda would un-follow Chetan Bhagat on twitter or why bachi would have his twitter user name as bachi_Khan_SRK or why Vamsi cant stop irritating us with is BABIG crap. In our own little weird ways, all of us are freaks!


When a movie critic goes out and watches a movie, his liking or not-liking the movie is pent to be based on various factors. Like whether he/she is prejudiced against any of the cast/crew of the movie or the comfort level of the theater where the movie is being screened or very simply, his/her mood that day. I am sure most of the famous critics out there are professional enough to filter out all this noise when they work on their reviews but yeah, there are bound to be some exceptions. It can be the other way round too, like in my case when an absolutely shitty movie might actually appeal in its own special way.


Am I implying that one should not follow movie reviews? No.
Am I saying that one should go out and watch every damn movie that is made? No.
Well then, whats my point? Well, all I am saying is that if a movie really appeals to you, be it through trailers or its cast or some damn reason, do not let a "review" spoil the experience for you!


P.S: Subtle hints at Rajeev Masand were indeed, intended :)

Booba and the Ross-Rachel affair

It was a little colder than usual that day, may be signifying the impending.

About six months ago, Booba came home from work with news. He was asked to move to Nigeria for a few months. Haha. Of all the countries, he got Nigeria!

We were really excited. He was the first one who got an on-site (well, even if the site is in Nigeria. Would you judge us if I told you that we would have been equally pepped up even if one of us was asked to go to Pakistan?) opprotunity among us. Booba was not really looking forward to the assignment, though. It was only a matter of minutes before we realized why. We got our laptops and started googling away.

Nigeria is one of the poorest countries in the world. Frequent communal riots and high crime rate are normalcy in the country. People roam about with guns, we heard (one more reason to go there, we kept telling him. It is like living in a movie, isn't it?). We were told that kidnapping and mugging are a day-to-day activity in some parts. If Booba were to go, he would be provided with a couple of personal security guards. How cool is that!

Me: "Its still a democracy, though."

Kisna: "Dude, hot black chicks and all, huh?"

Pelli: "The first thing you need to do after getting there is take a pic of yourself with your security guards (with guns, obviously) and send it to us"

Karteek: "One Indian rupee is 3 nairas. Ahh, you rich ass!"

Chotu: "Carry a lot of you-know-what. You never know when you might need one buddy"

And it went on that way for a few weeks till we got bored of the whole thing. The trip never came. Booba just kept telling us that it got postponed. He was trying to get out of it even after getting a visa and a vaccination for yellow fever. None of us believed that there is a chance of this trip being a reality anymore. So our two-cool-guards-with-guns fantasy had to wait. Until last friday.

Booba had a big fight with his manager and his superiors. They wanted him to go to Nigeria that friday. Yes, a day after 500 people were reported to be dead in communal riots. He wouldn't go and offered to resign. They wouldn't accept his resignation. Even if they did, they told him, he would be sent on the trip during his one month notice period. Poor Booba. His parents were so worried. He had to take all the pressure and still go on the trip even when he offered (and threatened) to resign. So he got ready to go. We were worried for him. We tried to cheer him up telling him that on the brighter side, he would get to live our fantasy. No, he wasn't amused.

Finally, it was time to leave. We all went to the airport. Even on the way to the airport, we (Booba excluded) were not really sure that this trip would happen because it had been on and off for a long time. The trip got postponed/delayed more number of times than we could remember.

It was like the Ross-Rachel affair, we thought. But this time, it did happen. After an awkward ten minute see-off at the airport (during which none of us cried, btw. The whole guy thing, you know!) he was off.

Yes, Revuru Venkata Siva Sai Kiran left for Nigeria. All Eeez Well so far and we are waiting for the pic to come! :)

The Audacity of Hope

The audacity of hope! I always liked that line but never really believed in it. Somehow, it did not seem real. It is one of those lines which belongs to the books and is cursed to remain there. Well, that was what I thought until a few days ago.

Imagine this: you get up in the morning, finish all your ablutions, put on your uniform, go to school, get taught in the class, have lunch, play in the evening, study for sometime, have dinner and finally go to bed: a typical day for a child. Yes, you get to wear "civil dress" on fridays too.  You get to draw and paint and read story books and comics. You get to show off your new pencil box your mom bought you or the new school bag u were gifted for your birthday or the cool new radium watch that glows in the dark, which your uncle got you from the states. Isn't that plain happiness? Now imagine doing all that with your eyes closed. Difficult? What if you were further told that you cannot open your eyes ever, even if you wanted to, that you cannot see anymore? Scary? Would you be able to be in a room filled with people who can see and still be confident? Would you still want to go to school? Will the prospect of studying still appeal to you? 

No. At least, not for many of us. But, about 40 kilometers from Hyderabad, there exists a small isolated place with a cluster of buildings which houses close to 50 blind children who are not daunted by their disability. They had passed the 10th standard (some of them with a higher score than many of us) and are now preparing for their PUC (+1, +2) exams. They go about their routine with surprising discipline and almost all of them consider a graduate degree as their career choice. "How?", we wonder. "Why not?", they say.

The place is the first junior college in Andhra Pradesh, exclusively for the blind & visually challenged. It provides free education along with  free boarding, clothing and basic medical facilties for underprivileged blind students. For the first time in the world, students of Nethravidyala Jr. College of Hyderabad appeared for their board examinations using laptops and not scribes (Telugu and Sanskrit are an exception). These students get educated with the help of JAWS, a software for the blind: one of the most convincing usages of technology for a social cause I have seen in a long time, coupled with the good old braille language. Powered by a laptop and a pair of head phones, they go about their preparation, typing faster than most of us.

It was high time we made this visit. We have been contributing to this institute for some time now, thanks to Chakri who first told us about it. Since then, we have wanted to visit the place and see first hand, how they were managing the whole thing. Finally, we did manage to make the effort to travel all the way there last weekend. The visit coupled with the movie "Leader" (thanks to Bachi) left me in high spirits and changed my perception of blind people. It was as if they were telling me, through what they were doing, "Manoj, dude, after all, its all about the way you take it!". I was really impressed by these children. They only had voices for their friends and their hands for support. But the immense talent and hope they possess is simply out of the world. You can't help but smile at their sincere and innocent efforts. The audacity of hope is written all over them!

If you want to check out their website, click here and if you want to talk to someone about the place, you can get in touch with Chakri or me.

Why The F ?!

It kept returning to me. No matter how hard I tried to push the uncomfortable question to the back of my mind, it just kept coming back. I knew I had to answer it eventually. But, it was not going to be easy.

"Why should anyone read my blog?" Its probably a haunting question for any blogger. At least, for most of the casual bloggers like me. Am I the geek who shares his wisdom with the world and whose every post is a tip, hack, or some kind of a value addition to the reader's expertise? NO. Am I a celebrity whose views on an issue, incident or the current state of an affair matter? NO. Am I an analyst whose mere way of deciphering a topic gives a unique and valuable insight into it? NO. Am I a gripping story teller? Do I even have a niche area or scope defined for my blog? Are my posts at least so abstract and confusing that the readers are actually tricked into believing that I am in some way, aloof and far more sophisticated as they are and embarrass them to be thinking "WTF does that post even mean!!"? Unfortunately, NO!

Praise or abuse, active criticism is a writer's way of asserting that he/she had touched someone with their work. Its an assurance that his work had not gone unnoticed. What would it take to motivate the modern audience, who thinks twice before clicking on a link as to whether it is going to do him/her any good (rightly so), to make the effort to take a moment and key in a few words of support? What would make them want more? Apparently, its a tough question.

I shall try and show to you, that there is ONE MORE different way of looking at things. That there can be immense joy in stupid jokes. That there are other things that can lighten up your day apart from cheery forwarded e-mails. That you can have awfully long and time wasting conversations without a purpose and still not regret it. That you can learn from the things and people around you without making an effort to do so. That good blogs are beyond information, reviews and prep material for GRE or CAT. That you can simply open my post, read it, smile and get on with your work feeling better :) and that I can get amusingly (read hopelessly) philosophical at times.

So, here is the deal. Every friday, when you come to work saying "TGIF" to yourself, I am going to make a new post. Something funny or something which happened over the week or something interesting or something rather silly. There shall be guest bloggers too, at times who will share their thoughts on my blog. Let me know what you think about it. Everyone wants appreciation. Geminians more so than anyone else. So, be assured that there shall not be a meaningless post here.

TGIF! Have a 'love'ly weekend. Keep an eye out for the Mutaliks and the Thackreys ;)

So long till next friday.

Hail Google!

Two States

A flurry of emotions engulf me as I sit back and start typing for the first post of my re-entry into the blogosphere. 2 years. Has it been so long? When and why has it all stopped? Was I really unable to make time for the one thing which I have always enjoyed? Seems so.

Almost two years of work experience behind me, I could not have been a more different person. Physically and psychologically. Those of you who havent seen me in a while will probably find it hard to see me now and acknowledge that I really am the same person. The Manoj you have known. Now, when did it all start?

-----

It was the 2nd year in college. Counter Strike, a game which occupied a considerable portion of our engineering life, has just started gaining popularity. Good CS players were gods, like the south indian film stars, for the rest of us. We were having a match, one with all the major players and I was really excited to have been included in the final 15(or was it 16?). We were losing badly.

Me: KoD, do something. We are losing.

KoD: Patience is a virtue, my friend.

Me: LOL.

Yes, I did laugh out loud at his reply. So typical of him to say anything that comes to his mind. After all, he did pride himself on being able to make up bull shit real fast, dint he? 'The Blabberer'. Somehow, that sentence was safely embedded in my mind. I did not realize the importance of that statement. Not yet. Not in the old state.

-----

August 1st, 2008. Finally, it was time. This was the day I had been promising myself that I would start working out. There was a gym at work, it was well equipped and it was free. 'You have no excuse to not work out', I told myself. 35 minutes. Thats all! I was gasping for my breath. I cursed myself for over-estimating my stamina and pushing myself so hard on day1. Patience, I said to myself.

-----

September 1st, 2008. The past one month had been the longest one in my life. I did not check my weight since the day I started gymming. I was super excited. A little tensed too. Wearily, I stepped on the weighing-machine. 104.4. Not bad. 3.5 kgs. Way to go, Manoj! My sense of euphoria did not last long. I realized that I still have atleast 30 kgs to loose. A really long way. I was not sure if I could do it. If only I had a way of seeing the future! Slap. Back to this world. Maybe I can get a lipo. Its not very expensive. 1 more month. If I maintain the rate of weight loss, I will continue. If not, I will get a lipo done.

-----

The new year. It has been more than a month since I stopped going to the gym. My conscience was killing me. 'I was really busy with work', I protested in denial. It was partially true. We just finished all our trainings and have been given an assignment, to assess our progress. We had to develop an internal tool on a relatively new technology and the deadlines were threatening. I quit the gym and started working overtime. I assured myself that it was only temporary. Finally, the project was over and I was heading to the gym. I havent checked my weight after I stopped gymming at 101. I could not bring myself to do it as I was scared that I might have put on. I stepped on the weighing machine ready for the unpleasant truth. I will probably have to start all over again. Sigh!

98.3. What? After checking 10 times and making all the people in the gym check theirs to confirm that the machine is not broken, I still could not believe it. Double digit weight! YESSS!

-----

Puff..Pant!..It was a saturday and I was just back from a morning jog. There was a weighing machine in our apartment complex and I dragged my feet towards it to check my weight. 83. I smiled and rushed up to my flat, switched on my laptop, signed in to gtalk and updated my status message: 'Celebrating 25 kgs of weight loss'.

I knew I had come a long way. It has been more than 8 months since I had first started working out. Month after month, as my weight loss continued at a wonderful rate, the exhilaration was intoxicating. I was addicted to working out. My roomies started worrying that I had turned into a fitness freak. They would not tell me but they dreaded having dinner with me because I had a 1000 conditions to be satisfied before I certify something to be edible. I would embarrass them by irritating the waiters with my specifications on how to prepare my order. I would not let them have pizza. I would nag them to submission on observing 'fruit-day's. They did bear me. Bless them!

-----

75. Finally. The figure I never imagined I would touch. It was blissful. I treated myself to biryani and ice cream.

-----

71. Oh no! Not again. I could not stop losing weight. I did start eating properly(atleast, thats what I thought) and I was concentrating on weight-training. But somehow, my body would not come out of the weight-loss mode. Everyone started complaining about how I started looking skinny and sick. My mom was very worried. Hell, I was worried too. I was just clueless!

-----

Today. A healthy 72.5 and a decent amount of muscle on me. I am obsessed with protein and I dream about dumbbells. Yes, still a fitness freak. I give tips and instructions on how to loose weight to all the people at work. Did I ever imagine the present 'me'? Hell, NO! Did I enjoy every moment of the transformation? YES! As 'The Blabberer' said, patience is definitely a virtue!

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the second innings of a slimmer, older and balder Manoj who has also learnt to play the drums(Hell, yeah! More on that soon..) along the way. The new state.